Have you wondered why when you go on vacation, or when you visit a place you've never been before, time seems to slow down? It could be as simple as visiting a new part of town on a Saturday afternoon, to traveling thousands of miles to a different country. Somehow the memories and feelings of those places are more vivid and powerful than the ones from a typical work week.
Your typical week follows an expected routine. Your morning routine, the commute, the job. Each component follows an expected routine. Your brain knows what to expect, and it switches to autopilot to navigate it. And yet when going somewhere new, your brain doesn't know what to expect. There is no routine because you haven't experienced it. Your more aware as you absorb the new experience. It's an elevated sense of wonder fueled by a break from the routine.
People often ask me why I left Southern California for New York. California doesn't typically fall in the list of places people are itching to get out of. And yet after 15 years, I was ready for a change. I was deep in a routine and I needed disruption.
When I first arrived in New York everything was new. The city, my apartment and neighborhood. A new job and title. New colleagues and friends. New furniture and clothes. A new commute. A new lifestyle. I was living with an elevated sense of wonder. Every experience and encounter was new, and I welcomed it. I welcomed getting bumped in the subway because wow, I'm here in New York taking the subway! I welcomed the snow because wow, I'm here in New York and it's snowing! I was comfortable saying hello to a stranger because wow, I'm here in New York talking to a New Yorker!
When you've just arrived in a new place, everything seems forgiven because your new. Talking to a random stranger? New Yorker's don't do that but it's ok for me because I'm new. Pausing to admire a building and taking a photo. New Yorker's don't do that but it's ok for me because I'm new. Walking alone without any plans on a Saturday night, New Yorker's don't do that but it's ok for me because I'm new.
An elevated sense of wonder eliminates any self-doubt or apprehension. It's OK because I'm new. My sense of wonder makes me comfortable with spontaneity. I'll try that. Yes, I'm interested.
And yet after some time the wonder begins to fade. A routine emerges. The it's OK because I'm new excuse no longer works. That's not what a New Yorker would do hinders spontaneity. I'll try that becomes I'm not sure. I'm interested becomes I don't have time. When I firsts arrived to New York I didn't have to work for an elevated sense of wonder. It was a byproduct of the new environment. I just went along for the ride.
But as a routine settles in, and the sense of wonder flounders, I have to work to maintain it. I have to find the moments in the routine that are wondrous. The moments that stand out and make the typical days feel different. I have to create those moments. Instead of going straight home on the same train after work, I take a different train to park, sit on a bench for 30 minutes and then walk home. Even the smallest change can make a difference. Anything that breaks me from my typical routine path. It's the break, the new experience that reignites the sense of wonder.